beat #20 - jasmine (Saturday, December 15, 2012 / 3:44 PM)
as i've been watching the time pass by,
moving toward the day i celebrate having been here for another year,
i find my thoughts often wandering toward some dearly beloved people
whose loss i always feel more keenly at this time of the year.
in the light of the recent shooting and violence,
i feel the pulse in my chest more than ever.
what is a life?
and why does it get taken away?
how many people in this moment, are grieving for an absence,
prematurely and senselessly created.
it is so hard to understand these questions.
and it is even harder, to live with these questions always in mind.
why do we only care about how many digits are in our bank account?
why do we only care for the amount of stuff we can surround ourselves with?
why do we only try to live as better people when we are shocked into facing the truth that this world can be a terrifying and horrifying place?
and why do we forget, day after day, and slide back into selfish, complacent ways?
i don't have any answers.
but as i quietly remember the many absences today,
i will treasure what sits here quietly in my chest,
flooding my veins with each heartbeat.
as long as it flows,
i will try every day to live better,
and let my footsteps step out a rhythm of grace.