beat #31 - jasmine [proverbs, day 4] (Wednesday, May 8, 2013 / 9:28 PM)
"Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Thought it cost all you have, get understanding."
Proverbs 4:7
It costs all I have.
What does that mean?
As I count another year of days on this earth, i think i am slowly beginning to understand, in the only way age can teach what it means to get understanding at the cost of everything.
i look back at the past and truthfully realize the loss of everything i once was: the slow clouding over of vision in some ways, and the incredible sharpening of eyesight in other ways.
the world has changed for good.
by that i mean permanence.
but i guess i also mean good.
it is good, to get understanding, after all wisdom is supreme.
and only through lens that are attuned to what i was not aware of before will i also see the power of my Father working in the only way He can work.
i am doomed to hopelessness otherwise am i not?
i see it already, the temperament of the weak in me.
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
Proverbs 4:23
i shall. i shall guard it against fear, against envy or jealousy, against selfishness and hatred, against bitterness and jaded anger.
i shall guard my heart by every day choosing to open it up, to making it vulnerable, to creating art, to giving it away, to loving beyond the puny, pathetic boundaries we create around ourselves - i will love you you you you you you you you you you you you you whom i love it will not end.
that is how i shall guard my heart.
i crave life overflowing in me.
Nouwen says we were promised life in abundance, so
give in the knowledge of such abundance.
