beat #44 - jasmine [proverbs, day 17] (Monday, May 20, 2013 / 11:06 AM)
Soundbites for Proverbs 17
v. 3
"The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but the Lord tests the heart."
There is something breathtakingly beautiful about this proverb. I can't quite put my finger on it yet, but it really is. Perhaps the image of firing for the sake of purification is an image laced with tension.
The heart to be tested is fearful, because it does not know the firing process. At least, because we are so forgetful, each testing almost always holds some fear because we have forgotten what it means to be tested by the Lord.
On the other hand there is also deep fear that we will wither away in the process, because we doubt the steadiness of our Lord's hands and the intentions of our God.
Father, when you are testing my heart, help me hold on to what I know about your character. Help me to carry over what I have learned in intimacy during times of trouble and heartache.
v. 17
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
This calls to mind a conversation I've had recently with a friend, on friendships and letting go.
A friend loves at all times, does love continue even when I have chosen to leave?
It is hard, it is so hard to continue loving despite pain.
It is hard to press on when there is blood in the mouth.
But the harbourfront is always there, and the finish line is always there, and till I die there is no alternative but to push forward for the way behind leads back only to death, to bitterness, to loneliness and more.
But Mother Teresa said that "I have found the paradox. That if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."
That is a paradox I will hold on to.
Because Christ held on to that, because the Father held on to that, and the Spirit holds on to that and enables me to believe it is so.
I am loved, and so out of the abundance of this love I will love too.
v. 27
"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered."
My greatest battle has always been how to use my words with restraint.
I am not even-tempered, I am passionate, hot and cold, boiling and stewing and overflowing with emotions and thinking and writing.
But wisdom is not meant to change who I am, but to realize that beyond me and my importance is a Father who deserves all the glory and the Son who has glorified. So Holy Spirit restrain my tongue and even my temper.
The flame that burns inside me is of you, has been of you, and will always be of you. It is not mine to wield recklessly, but from you.
