beat #47 - jasmine [proverbs, day 20] (Wednesday, May 22, 2013 / 11:55 PM)
v. 5-6
"The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out. Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?"
I realize how protected I would like to keep myself.
Too sensitive and too impressionable, I have stayed curled up in the layers of who I make myself to be, so that I never have to apologize for who I am and what I have decided upon.
I am too insecure in who i am, bombarded with messages on who I should be, who I can be, who I must be and amongst the lies the truth is thinly threaded, invisible often and glimmering only in certain light.
Wisdom is adjusting the lens of my eyes to that light, so I follow the thread of truth through the labyrinth into freedom.
Understanding is drawing purpose and motive out to understand grace, to move forward step by step in ways I cannot explain.
It is hard.
It is so hard.
I am failing everyday, but I have found my faithful man in the faithful God who loves me regardless.
Unfailing love, so amazing.